It doesn’t matter how ill-informed or throw away that comment was, for some reason, we believe it.
We then move forward in life believing that there is something wrong with us that we should then do our best to hide.
This then chips away at our confidence and ultimately damages our self-esteem.
But there is another way of responding to criticism and negativity.
You can simply choose to accept that there is only one expert on you... and that’s you!
Let’s break this down...
If somebody gives an opinion of you you will either agree with that opinion or disagree with it.
If you agree, then that’s no problem. They haven’t taught you anything about you that you didn’t already know and therefore can have no impact on your own self-image and self-esteem. You might be working to change your perceived flaws or you might not. That’s your choice, not theirs.
If you disagree with them, then guess who’s wrong!
When it comes to any opinion I’m always going to take the opinion of the expert over the novice, and when it comes to me I’m the expert.
I’m the only person who has been present in every single scene of my particular movie and I’m the only one who has understood the motivation of the main character.
I understand who I am much better than anyone else on the planet.
If we choose to look back on any negativity or criticism we have received from others over the years (criticism that we may have taken as true and shaped our self-image) it doesn’t take long to realise that the opinion reveals more about the person giving it than the person receiving it.
So when it comes to self-criticism based on the opinions of others...let’s agree that we don’t have to do that anymore.
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