This is because we are not anxious about what particular challenge might be on the horizon, we are anxious about our ability to cope with that challenge.
This is why building our general levels of confidence in ourself can have such a positive effect on us in our efforts to get control of anxiety.
However the big mistake we often fall into is thinking that confidence is something we have to learn and develop over time.
There’s no doubt it can take time, but that’s not because we are growing something from scratch that we’ve never had before.
The simple truth is that we were born confident.
We weren’t brought into this world with hang ups and insecurities. It was experience that taught us to doubt ourself...that and the judgement and criticism of others.
However, whilst it may have been the harsh words of others at pivotal moments that created the self doubt it is almost exclusively us that perpetuates it.
For whatever reason we took those words and accepted them as true.
We then repeated them to ourself over and over.
Even as we go through life learning and growing from our mistakes and experiences if we hold on to damning critique from our early years then that becomes our truth. It remains our reason to fear what life might throw our way...because the voice we hear in our head is telling us we just can’t handle it.
Confidence doesn’t come from some strength of will and it isn’t a technique we learn.
Confidence returns when we reject the words of others and decide to tell ourself a different story about who we are and what we can achieve.
It turns out we are really good at facing challenges.
It turns out we’ve been doing it every day of our life.
It turns out the only reason we haven’t felt confident is because we‘ve been telling ourself not to.
What are you going to tell yourself about you today?
The Control System | Master
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