We might have learnt this as a child when parents and teachers shouted at us to get us to do things.
However, there’s a good reason why this isn’t the best strategy now.
When we were shouted at as a youngster it was because we had already been told what to do many times and simply weren’t doing it... because we didn’t want to.
We might have had our own ideas about what would make us happy and they didn’t fall in line with what our parents/teacher wanted at that time.
When we shout at yourselves for not performing well enough or for making mistakes it makes the assumption that some part of our mind is resisting our happiness.
In truth every part of our mind is trying to find the best strategy for the most happiness... but some parts might be running outdated or inappropriate strategies.
Those parts are already trying their best... just maybe moving in the wrong direction.
Beating ourselves up won’t inspire a better effort... we’re already giving it everything.
Even when we are sitting around doing nothing, that’s because there is a part of our mind that believes this is currently our best strategy for happiness... and it’s implementing that strategy with maximum effort.
What’s needed to get that part to adopt a different strategy is education... not castigation.
Our mind would be very happy to do a different job... it just needs to feel informed and empowered to be able to do that.
Shouting at ourselves will simply make us feel bad about how we are currently doing. It will steadily destroy our self-image and leave us feeling unable to cope.
If you’re not feeling motivated right now, then the first thing to acknowledge is (with the current circumstances) how completely understandable that is. The next thing to do is to work out why you’re mind has adopted this response, and how we might inspire a better one.
So do yourself a favour and treat yourself with kindness, as this is what makes change simple and achievable.
If you beat yourself up you just end up beaten... but if you build yourself up, who knows how far you can reach?
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