It’s no secret that when someone shouts negativity at us we are vulnerable to accepting the criticism and taking damage to our self esteem. Such a large amount of social anxiety stems from the fear for the judgement of others. We amend and alter ourselves to fit in with what we believe others will want from us. When we receive negative judgements and aggressive criticism it can be savagely damaging to our own state of mind and self image.
However, most of the time the person hurling the criticism at us…is ourself. Let’s face it, there’s nobody else on the planet who criticises you as often or as harshly as YOU do.
So let’s break this down and try to understand why we are shouting at ourself.
Look, there’s only one reason to shout at someone, and that’s to try and inspire more effort from them. If they’re doing the wrong thing even though they know it’s wrong and they just don’t care enough to try harder, then shouting might well achieve something!
It might get them moving. But, if they’re doing the wrong thing, not because of a lack of effort, but because they think they’re doing the right thing then shouting isn’t necessary…neither is it tremendously helpful.
When someone shouts at us our natural instinct is to do close off and cover our ears from the noise. We stop listening to what the person is saying to us and focus more on the fact that we are being shouted at. Nobody’s learning anything when they’re not listening!
What’s needed here is education, not castigation.
You see your mind is already hard wired to try and find the best strategy for the most happiness.
It doesn’t need motivating, it needs guiding.
If you shout at yourself for failing all you’re doing is berating a part of your mind that is doing its best based on what it currently knows about the world.
Your mind often has old strategies in place that stop you easily achieving the things you want to achieve. It doesn’t want to do the wrong thing, but according to your learnt version of reality this is the best option available. Maybe you’re repeating bad habits you’ve been desperately trying to get out of, maybe you’re not performing as well as you feel you should be, or maybe you have illogical and limiting fears holding you back from achieving what you want to.
Whatever it is, if you beat yourself up all that does is make you feel bad about yourself and damages your own levels of self esteem.
If you spend all day beating yourself up, then you’ll end the day beaten.
Whatever you’re trying to achieve…whatever you’re trying to change…be kind to yourself. You’re trying your hardest. Treat yourself well, inspire your very best…and you know what?
You just might find that your best is suddenly good enough.
Check out the video: Click here to watch the video
If you want to learn how to get control of your self esteem levels and start treating yourself well then check out Tim’s new book, ‘Clear Your Head’.
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